| So, a couple of weeks ago, after many many many months of thinking and contemplating and talking and getting advice, and more thinking and more contemplating. I decided to leave the Church (note, the big C church, note 2, the church, not faith). *ducks, waits for lightning (sp?) to strike*. Apparently making that choice isn't going to give me instant-smite. Phew.
Now, I recognize that some may not appreciate that previous paragraph, the sarcasm, the "blatant disregard". But, let me tell you, all I've dealt with for the last couple of weeks is a gazillion emails (my need to be honest with where I'm at, and recognizing that this is a pretty big choice). With responses ranging from the general "I'm happy for you" to "mwah ha ha, welcome to the darkside" to "You're going to hell".
And for the sake of keeping this post short. One of the things that had me thinking for a long time were my personal values/morals vs. church values/morals (for lack of a better term). And well, I'm a genuine, sincere, caring, hospitable and pretty much good natured person, not solely because I'm a Christian but because that is how I have always been, they just happen to fit nicely into the "Christian image". But when I look at things like pre-marital sex, homosexuality, abortion, other religions, divorce etc., which are things that the collective Church has pretty much frowned upon (and yes, I understand that even non-Christians frown upon those things too). But I honestly don't believe that any of those things are wrong.
And I think there are another people out there who go to Church and during the week clearly do not live a life that the church would "condone", I'm one of those people. I don't believe my actions are wrong, and so I don't want to put forth an image or idea that someone may have of me, that is clearly inaccurate.
I intend to live my life with as much respect for myself as possible, while pissing off the least amount of people. I believe that God exists and that Jesus died for my sins. And I believe that if there is a heaven, I won't be stuck outside the pearly gates.
I also hope to come back to church because I want it, need it, and that its real for me. And right now its an obligation and a measure to which I have been made to feel like a failure.
Fini.
Oh, and I guess ... if you want/need to email me about it ... its awakemysoul [at] gmail [dot] com. |
